I Have New Humor Piece Up on McSweeney’s Today

On McSweeney’s: Are You the Next Rock Star Social Media Manager Who’s Willing to Literally Die for Content?

Also, please enjoy this bonus list:

E-Juice Flavor for Vaping or Deer Attractant for Hunters?

1. Apple Swig Liquid
2. Triumph Line: Colossus
3. Big Worm
4. Tarsal Gland Hot Scrape
5. Sweet Corn Fogger
6. Pecan Pie
7. DUI: Cherry Vanilla
8. Extreme Interest
9. Steamy Nutz
10. Maple Bacon Sin
11. Sugar Beet CRUSH
12. Swamp Donkey Butter
13. Sugar Butt
14. The Milk 2
15. Berry Blow Doe

1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 12: Deer Attractant for Hunters
2, 3, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15: E-Juice Flavor
6: Both

I’ve Updated The Comedian’s Guide to Freelance Writing

Check out the new version here. It includes expanded information about pitching, sending blind emails to potential employers, leaving the house, and dealing with commenters.

Some Things I’ve Done Recently, September 2016 Edition

A few food and humor history articles:

The most important DANCING FAKE HAND video you will see today (and probably most days):

Writing some cards for Someecards:

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Please Enjoy My Personal Brand Statement

Deal With It

I made a GIF video, guys. Deal with it.

1o Things I Learned When I Wore Dark Lipstick for 10 Minutes


New humor piece up on Someecards: 10 Things I Learned When I Wore Dark Lipstick for 10 Minutes

An Honest Post From a Seemingly Flawless Lifestyle Blogger


I have a new humor piece up on Someecards: An Honest Post From a Seemingly Flawless Lifestyle Blogger.

Some Things I’ve Been Working On

Realistic fake hand:


Sir Reginald, a motorized top hat:

I also have some exciting writing projects brewing that I can’t discuss quite yet, but they are both INTERESTING and IMMINENT.

This Is Just a Picture of an Elephant With a Human Nose

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I couldn’t find one online, and I think we can all agree that this should exist.

New Glendale Sketch Comedy Show Wednesday

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Because we like to keep you on your toes and/or because we were rescheduled, this month’s show is actually the first Wednesday of the month, paired with Nephew. I have a few sketches in this one, including something called “Futility Party” that I am very excited about.

Wednesday, February 3 at 8:30 pm
UCB Sunset

Tickets available here!