Some Recent Writings, December 2016

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The Delightfully Disturbing Holiday Displays of Yesteryear: Complete with murder Santa!

Watching Someone Get Hit in the Nuts Has Always United Humanity: On the history of bloopers and books with “boner” in the title.

A Friendly Reminder to Pay for the Things You Care About: The problem with free*

Why Are Thanksgiving Leftovers the Only Acceptable Leftovers? With a reminder of how soulless Dagwood’s eyes are.

16th Century Meat Carvers Were Way Ahead of Your Uncle Walter: A history of men and meat carving.

 

 

Delight in My Rejected Sketches at Chopping Block Comedy This Saturday

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The lovely people of Chopping Block Comedy are performing a show full of my rejected sketches this weekend and interviewing me about writin’ stuff. I’m super excited; this is some wonderful weirdness from the past several years that I couldn’t convince anyone else to put on a stage.

Join us!

Saturday, December 17 at 9:30 pm
The Pack Theater
6470 Santa Monica Blvd
Los Angeles, CA
Pay What You Can

3rd Annual LA Skins Fest Sketch Comedy Showcase

I wrote a couple of sketches for this year’s LA Skins Fest Sketch Comedy Showcase. If you’re in LA, come check it out!

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New Piece: Replace Your Emoji With 17th-Century Monsters

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MEL Magazine agreed to publish this ridiculous dream article, and I couldn’t be happier.

Well, I thought I couldn’t be happier, but then I did this:

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I Have New Humor Piece Up on McSweeney’s Today

On McSweeney’s: Are You the Next Rock Star Social Media Manager Who’s Willing to Literally Die for Content?

Also, please enjoy this bonus list:

E-Juice Flavor for Vaping or Deer Attractant for Hunters?

1. Apple Swig Liquid
2. Triumph Line: Colossus
3. Big Worm
4. Tarsal Gland Hot Scrape
5. Sweet Corn Fogger
6. Pecan Pie
7. DUI: Cherry Vanilla
8. Extreme Interest
9. Steamy Nutz
10. Maple Bacon Sin
11. Sugar Beet CRUSH
12. Swamp Donkey Butter
13. Sugar Butt
14. The Milk 2
15. Berry Blow Doe

1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 12: Deer Attractant for Hunters
2, 3, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15: E-Juice Flavor
6: Both

I’ve Updated The Comedian’s Guide to Freelance Writing

Check out the new version here. It includes expanded information about pitching, sending blind emails to potential employers, leaving the house, and dealing with commenters.

Some Things I’ve Done Recently, September 2016 Edition

A few food and humor history articles:

The most important DANCING FAKE HAND video you will see today (and probably most days):

Writing some cards for Someecards:

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Please Enjoy My Personal Brand Statement

Deal With It

I made a GIF video, guys. Deal with it.

1o Things I Learned When I Wore Dark Lipstick for 10 Minutes

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New humor piece up on Someecards: 10 Things I Learned When I Wore Dark Lipstick for 10 Minutes