In Regard to Trader Joe’s “Reduced Guilt” Potato Chips

trader-joes-reduced-guilt-chips-050814-Dear “”Trader”” Joe’s,

I am writing in regard to your line of “REDUCED-GUILT” POTATO CHIPS. What RIGHT do you have to TELL ME what products SHOULD and SHOULD NOT make me FEEL GUILT? For example, your SOUR CREAM AND ONION chips remind me of the time at brunch that my NOW “EX”-girlfriend, CINDY, ordered a breakfast burrito, and I saw the cook SNIFFING THE SOUR CREAM TO SEE IF IT WAS GOOD, but DID NOT TELL CINDY. Then she RECEIVED FOOD POISONING. Furthermore! Your SALT AND VINEGAR chips smell like the HOUSE OF MY MOTHER who I didn’t talk to for SEVEN YEARS and then went to visit and discovered that she had developed a CAT HOARDING PROBLEM to cope with the ““LOSS”” of her SON (me).

Your “”BBQ”” chips do not cause any GUILT, but I DO NOT LIKE THE FLAVOR. Too much MESQUITE.

Sincerely,

Glen Avondale
AARP Member, AAA Member

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