Category Archives: Uncategorized
Two More Opportunities to See All the Darkness in My Heart: 2/21 and 2/28!
I’m performing my one-lady sketch show, All the Darkness in My Heart, two more times! Come see me at the iO West in Hollywood on 2/21 or 2/28 at 8:30 p.m. For only $5, you can see me AND another show:
2/21: American Dropout
2/28: Who the F@#% is Brian Brown?
You can read more about my show and buy tickets on the iO website.
Previously on YOUR LIPS ARE GONE
Previously on YOUR LIPS ARE GONE:
Andrea lost her lips. Gerrod lost his lips. Steve discovered that his lips were stolen — by Frank. But then Frank lost Steve’s lips. Ben lost his lips. Michael lost his lips. Greg and Jen had a relationship-ending misunderstanding because neither of them could form words. Sylvia lost her lips. Jade lost her lips. Everyone meditated on why birds have lipless beaks. Brian lost his lips. Harriet lost her lips, and then a dentist on the street diagnosed her with gum cancer because he was able to see straight into her mouth. Immediately after the diagnosis, the dentist lost his lips.
And the Lip King watches all…
Now — the explosive SECOND EPISODE!
The Shell Monstrosity
In my Marketplace Money interview, I mentioned a humanoid shell creature my grandmother gave me as a child. I just remembered I have a picture of it, which I took before I threw it away just two years ago. Paaaaaaack rat!
Actually, according to Wikipedia, if I was a true pack rat, I would have incorporated the shell into my nest, or at least traded it instead of getting rid of it: “A peculiar characteristic is that if they find something they want, they will drop what they are currently carrying, for example a piece of cactus, and ‘trade’ it for the new item.”
Mmmm. Nest cactus.
Happy Holidays From Meg & Rob
Please accept these good tidings from Meg & Rob:
Rob and I made these for last year’s holiday comedy show at Johnny Brenda’s, Nobody Ever Dies on Christmas (Except Toshiro Mifune). If you’re in Philadelphia on December 22, I highly recommend attending this year’s offering, Keep the Change Ya Filthy Animal: A Yuletide Variety Show.
Listen to Me on Marketplace Money This Weekend!
I’m on Marketplace Money this weekend talking homemade gifts that don’t suck. Listen online (I’m at the end of the episode), or find the local air time for your NPR station.
In Regard to Your Pest Knowledge
Dear RELIABLE PEST CONTROL,
What’s the average lifespan of an ant/wasp/bee/snake/or rodent? I have a PEST of an undetermined AGE and SPECIES in my house. All I know is that it is a PEST, and I want to know how soon I can expect it to DIE IN MY WALL or possibly IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR if it is being SHOWY. I asked the police to pull FINGER PRINTS off of the BOX OF CEREAL that the PEST had eaten. They said they didn’t think the prints would MATCH ANYTHING IN THEIR DATABASE, but they would add my prints FOR FREE. Thus, this day was a FINANCIAL WIN. (That is also a side tip if you want to get FREE FINGERPRINT PICTURES. Take anything you can get in this economy!!!) Anyway, please let me know if I have a RODENT, BUG, SNAKE, SPIDER, or ???????????.
Sincerely,
Glen Avondale
Little Old Lady Recipes Is Out Today!
Buy it on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble, or at independent bookstores that know what’s what.
New Piece on The Big Jewel: RE: Your Recent MOON BABY
I have a new humor piece up on The Big Jewel: RE: Your Recent Moon Baby.
Previously on The Big Jewel: Commercials for Meg Favreau, Selections From an Anti-Duck Propaganda Packet
