Listen to Me Talk Terrible Recipes on NHPR on October 21!

On October 21, I’ll be back on NHPR’s Word of Mouth, talking about my Table Matters piece Cooking Local and the often-terrible (and occasionally great) recipes in locally produced cookbooks. You can listen on the radio if you’re in New England, or online.

New Comedy Video: Death in a Hospital

I’ve been performing this with DJ Faucet for almost two years as a stage sketch, and it’s one of my favorite things I’ve written. If you like DARKNESS, this is for you. If you do not like darkness, THIS IS ALSO FOR YOU.

In Regard to Trader Joe’s “Reduced Guilt” Potato Chips

trader-joes-reduced-guilt-chips-050814-Dear “”Trader”” Joe’s,

I am writing in regard to your line of “REDUCED-GUILT” POTATO CHIPS. What RIGHT do you have to TELL ME what products SHOULD and SHOULD NOT make me FEEL GUILT? For example, your SOUR CREAM AND ONION chips remind me of the time at brunch that my NOW “EX”-girlfriend, CINDY, ordered a breakfast burrito, and I saw the cook SNIFFING THE SOUR CREAM TO SEE IF IT WAS GOOD, but DID NOT TELL CINDY. Then she RECEIVED FOOD POISONING. Furthermore! Your SALT AND VINEGAR chips smell like the HOUSE OF MY MOTHER who I didn’t talk to for SEVEN YEARS and then went to visit and discovered that she had developed a CAT HOARDING PROBLEM to cope with the ““LOSS”” of her SON (me).

Your “”BBQ”” chips do not cause any GUILT, but I DO NOT LIKE THE FLAVOR. Too much MESQUITE.

Sincerely,

Glen Avondale
AARP Member, AAA Member

Previous In Regard To Letters:

Come See DJ Faucet Sketch Comedy at The Bootleg Theater October 3 and 4!

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Please join my sketch comedy group, DJ Faucet, for two nights of dark and absurd sketch comedy at the The Bootleg Theater in Los Angeles on October 3 and 4! The show is 8 pm, and tickets are $7 in advance, $10 at the door. If you saw our shows at the Comedy Central Stage or The Kirk Douglas Theater, know that this show is all new! KNOW IT IN YOUR HEART.

Can’t make it? Check out our regular monthly shows at iO West on October 5 and November 2.

New Video: Shut That Coyote Up! Plus: Great Donuts and Awful Candy Bread

I have been doing several things! For example, building a cardboard town for this video I wrote for DJ Faucet:

Here’s the video on Funny or Die if you’d prefer to watch it there. Also, come see our next show on August 3 at iO West in Los Angeles!

Screen Shot 2014-07-22 at 4.17.16 PM

Additionally, I have two new food articles up on Table Matters. One is on why you shouldn’t eat at Dunkin’ Donuts (with a recipe for the absolutely kick-ass homemade maple-frosted donuts you see above) and the other is about locally produced cookbooks from the 70s and 80s, with an awesome recipe for “The Ribsticker” and a terrifying recipe for Gumdrop Bread.

DJ Faucet at the Kirk Douglas Theatre on July 5

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Please join my sketch comedy group, DJ Faucet, for a night of dark and absurd sketch comedy at the Kirk Douglas Theatre in Los Angeles on July 5! The show is 8 pm, and tickets are $7 at the door.

Can’t make it? Check out our regular monthly shows at iO West on July 6 and August 3.

See My Sketch Comedy Group at the Comedy Central Stage on April 30!

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My iO West Main Stage sketch comedy group, DJ Faucet, is doing a show at the Comedy Central Stage in Los Angeles on April 30 at 8 pm. We are absurd, physical, and sometimes dark; and this show is going to be oh-so fun. So come see us! Tickets are free — call 323-960-5519 to reserve yours.

On Funeral Cookies and Eating Sins

death_cookies

 

My newest Table Matters piece: A Snack Called Death.

From “Prevention of Disease and Care of the Sick,” 1918

prevention_of_disease_and_care_of_the_sickI want that sweet hammock chair.

 

Chocolate Cures Infertility (and Other Bits of Chocolate Medical History)

chocolate_cake

 

My newest Table Matters column is up — it’s about the weird medical history of chocolate, and it features a recipe for chocolate cake spiced to help balance your four humors.

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